I am noticing that young children are physically challenging
and the older they get the more mentally challenging they and their situations
become. I suppose that’s a good thing because challenges like no sleep and
carrying one and sometimes two sleeping kids from the car to the house are things
that are easier to manage when the onset of osteoarthritis is not quite
Waking up early is definitely the key to getting anything at
all accomplished but Ro is giving me a run for my money! I set the alarm for
4:30am this morning and wouldn’t you know it, he was up at 4:25 a.m.! Raj got
the milk ready while I calmed him down but by the time I gave Ro back to Raj,
Ellil started to stir and so I went to make sure she wouldn’t get up. Of
course, I fell asleep and didn’t get up till 5 a.m. Enough time to get ready and leave but
definitely too late to sneak in a workout. What’s a girl to do!
I want to figure out a schedule that I can stick to, but
there isn’t any sort of pattern at all to any of my days! This is my lesson in
flexibility and juggling the balls of time. So this is what I think I need to
be able to do:
when I can
Catnap when I can
Eat HEALTHY when I can
Don’t get upset when I can’t (do any of the above 3 I mean)
Moms! Anything else I’m missing??
The past month, or the last month before going back to work,
I enrolled in a writing class. Lots of assignments so I neglected this for a
while. Apologies. But I’m back to work now. Tuesday was my first day.
I must say it sure is nice dressing up, having somewhere to
go and spending the day talking with adults about adult things. But boy was I
tired when I got home. I hit the sack both nights no later than 9pm. But in my
defense I’ve been up anywhere between 4 and 5am the past 3 days and 2 out of
the days I went for a run. As great as
that may sound, it’s a purely defensive play. When I tried on my clothes over
the weekend(I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear) not much fit very properly.
I’m effectively wearing the biggest pieces I own and they are tight on me. Yes!
My fat clothes are tight!! So I have no choice but to drop weight at an effort
to be able to wear my clothes so I can in fact go to work in more than 3
But other than that, it’s been a warm welcome. Some things
have changed but most things haven’t. Whether or not the stuff that doesn’t
change is good or bad varies depending on the topic of course. I don’t have the
same stresses as I did while I was off (Ro and Ellil getting sick at the same
time and throwing up on me at the same time) but I definitely am starting to
feel the stresses that I didn’t think about the past seven months (am I
progressing at the pace I should be, am I seizing the right opportunities, is
my kindness being mistaken for weakness).
The bottom line is…I am a better mother to both my children
if I am working. And the fact that I’m doing something I really love…how can
that be a bad thing for me or my family?
With that being said, I do miss both my kids a lot. The best
part of my day is when I come home to them and they are both smiling at me
wanting me to take them in my arms. Nothing
beats that high!
I’m hoping that on days that are no good, when I am feeling
like crap and want to either drop kick everyone in my way or cry on their
shoulder, I can turn to this entry and try to feel a little bit better. Because
I know those days will come and more than just a few times.
Feel free to do the same.