The past month, or the last month before going back to work, I enrolled in a writing class. Lots of assignments so I neglected this for a while. Apologies. But I’m back to work now. Tuesday was my first day.
I must say it sure is nice dressing up, having somewhere to go and spending the day talking with adults about adult things. But boy was I tired when I got home. I hit the sack both nights no later than 9pm. But in my defense I’ve been up anywhere between 4 and 5am the past 3 days and 2 out of the days I went for a run. As great as that may sound, it’s a purely defensive play. When I tried on my clothes over the weekend(I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear) not much fit very properly. I’m effectively wearing the biggest pieces I own and they are tight on me. Yes! My fat clothes are tight!! So I have no choice but to drop weight at an effort to be able to wear my clothes so I can in fact go to work in more than 3 outfits.
But other than that, it’s been a warm welcome. Some things have changed but most things haven’t. Whether or not the stuff that doesn’t change is good or bad varies depending on the topic of course. I don’t have the same stresses as I did while I was off (Ro and Ellil getting sick at the same time and throwing up on me at the same time) but I definitely am starting to feel the stresses that I didn’t think about the past seven months (am I progressing at the pace I should be, am I seizing the right opportunities, is my kindness being mistaken for weakness).
The bottom line is…I am a better mother to both my children if I am working. And the fact that I’m doing something I really love…how can that be a bad thing for me or my family?
With that being said, I do miss both my kids a lot. The best part of my day is when I come home to them and they are both smiling at me wanting me to take them in my arms. Nothing beats that high!
I’m hoping that on days that are no good, when I am feeling like crap and want to either drop kick everyone in my way or cry on their shoulder, I can turn to this entry and try to feel a little bit better. Because I know those days will come and more than just a few times.
Feel free to do the same.