My Biggest Fear

 

The plan was to spend Sunday afternoon enjoying dim-sum with some of my girlfriends with whom I haven’t met up with in ages. My daughter, Ellil, who is four years old now, loves to come out with me so she came along for a girls afternoon out. The one thing she liked on the table was the fried octopus, which I thought was squid. She asked for it. I gave her a piece. She really enjoyed it and asked for more. She ate 4 pieces. About half an hour into the lunch, Ellil starts to tug on my sleeve. I look over and she is trying to tell me that she doesn’t feel good. Her voice is scratchy and I can tell she’s gagging. "I don't feel good." She somehow managed to get out. I shuttled her to the washroom and we made it just in time before she threw up a whole lot of mucous, water and fried octopus. By the time I cleaned her up and walked back to the table her face had started to swell up including her lips and her tongue.

My heart fell into my stomach. The only reason I didn’t have a panic attack is because Ellil would’ve freaked out if she saw me freak out. So, we left the restaurant and we walked to the nearest pharmacy, about a block north. I spoke with the pharmacist and I gave her some Benadryl. My husband and son were hanging out with my younger brother so after I gave her the medicine we jumped in a cab and headed towards my brother’s place. In the cab, as I was talking to my older brother about what to do regarding her reaction, and whether or not I should take her to the hospital, she threw up again. A lot more mucous and watery liquid and the rest of the bloody tentacles!

The wonderful cab driver gave me Kleenex and a bottle of water to clean up. After the second round of vomiting she started to look much better. The swelling came down and she was feeling better. So much so that once we got into my brother’s place and I changed her she wanted to eat a happy meal! It was nice to have her back.

Needless to say that was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. To outlive a parent is painful, but natural. My husband lived through this less than a month ago when my father-in-law passed away, so I am unfortunately familiar with this experience, somewhat. But, staring your child in the face while she is swelling up and having trouble breathing, and having to possibly contemplate the fatality of the situation...well, that’s an entirely new and too scary a predicament to want to get familiar with.

Call it 'luck being a lady'. Call it 'amazing grace'. Call it God. I am blessed that she is ok and things didn’t spiral downwards.

I AM OFF dim-sum for the next little while. Maybe forever.

 

 

 

Birthdays - A time to think, smile and drive on.

I recently celebrated my birthday and of course, I tried to recap my life in the previous 365 days to see what I had accomplished and whether or not that met up with my expectations.

 What I have learned over the years is that your life now is a sum total of all your past decisions. If you don’t like your life, you have to make new decisions.

 Let’s be honest. We are humans. No one is perfect. Certain things I’m proud of and others are still a work-in-progress. But it helps to introspect…in fact, it’s imperative that we all introspect periodically about our past and use it to better ourselves now so that our future can be so bright that when it finally does becomes the past, we can look back and be proud. (Hope that wasn’t too confusing!)

 My list that I evaluate is composed of my 5 values in no particular order.

Family (my own/my parents/my siblings/my nephews/my in-laws)

Health (physical/emotional/spiritual/financial)

Career

Personal Growth

Marriage

Rather than give myself a grade or points I think about them all and how I’ve done in the past year. Keep in mind that many times one value is prioritized over another at different points in your life. So for example, this past year I get full points for Family (because I delivered my son!) but my career did have to go on ‘hold’ if you will as I was on maternity leave for most of the past year. That’s life. At different times in our lives, different values will trump each other depending on circumstances, environment, people…different stimuli really.

 You can’t do it all at once, so don’t.  Enjoy what you are doing, focus on it and do it willingly.  When the tides change (and they will) you get to focus on your other values as well.

A lesson in flexibility

A lesson in flexibility

 

 

I am noticing that young children are physically challenging and the older they get the more mentally challenging they and their situations become. I suppose that’s a good thing because challenges like no sleep and carrying one and sometimes two sleeping kids from the car to the house are things that are easier to manage when the onset of osteoarthritis is not quite imminent.

Waking up early is definitely the key to getting anything at all accomplished but Ro is giving me a run for my money! I set the alarm for 4:30am this morning and wouldn’t you know it, he was up at 4:25 a.m.! Raj got the milk ready while I calmed him down but by the time I gave Ro back to Raj, Ellil started to stir and so I went to make sure she wouldn’t get up. Of course, I fell asleep and didn’t get up till 5 a.m.  Enough time to get ready and leave but definitely too late to sneak in a workout. What’s a girl to do!

I want to figure out a schedule that I can stick to, but there isn’t any sort of pattern at all to any of my days! This is my lesson in flexibility and juggling the balls of time. So this is what I think I need to be able to do:

Workout when I can
Catnap when I can
Eat HEALTHY when I can
Don’t get upset when I can’t (do any of the above 3 I mean)

Moms! Anything else I’m missing??

 

 

 

My first week back to work - The start of my new life.

The past month, or the last month before going back to work, I enrolled in a writing class. Lots of assignments so I neglected this for a while. Apologies. But I’m back to work now. Tuesday was my first day.

I must say it sure is nice dressing up, having somewhere to go and spending the day talking with adults about adult things. But boy was I tired when I got home. I hit the sack both nights no later than 9pm. But in my defense I’ve been up anywhere between 4 and 5am the past 3 days and 2 out of the days I went for a run.  As great as that may sound, it’s a purely defensive play. When I tried on my clothes over the weekend(I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear) not much fit very properly. I’m effectively wearing the biggest pieces I own and they are tight on me. Yes! My fat clothes are tight!! So I have no choice but to drop weight at an effort to be able to wear my clothes so I can in fact go to work in more than 3 outfits.

But other than that, it’s been a warm welcome. Some things have changed but most things haven’t. Whether or not the stuff that doesn’t change is good or bad varies depending on the topic of course. I don’t have the same stresses as I did while I was off (Ro and Ellil getting sick at the same time and throwing up on me at the same time) but I definitely am starting to feel the stresses that I didn’t think about the past seven months (am I progressing at the pace I should be, am I seizing the right opportunities, is my kindness being mistaken for weakness).

The bottom line is…I am a better mother to both my children if I am working. And the fact that I’m doing something I really love…how can that be a bad thing for me or my family?

With that being said, I do miss both my kids a lot. The best part of my day is when I come home to them and they are both smiling at me wanting me to take them in my arms.  Nothing beats that high!

I’m hoping that on days that are no good, when I am feeling like crap and want to either drop kick everyone in my way or cry on their shoulder, I can turn to this entry and try to feel a little bit better. Because I know those days will come and more than just a few times.

Feel free to do the same.

Kids love these Fish Cakes

Fish Cakes!!

 

 

I’m trying to get Ellil into the habit of eating healthy. I don’t want her to think of it as eating healthy per se.  I just want her and Ro to be around healthy food as though that’s the norm and the other stuff is really abnormal.

Like most moms, getting a balanced meal into our toddlers is not always easy. So, I created this rendition of fish cakes which I tried on Ellil a couple of times now and she really really enjoys it with a side of Caesar Salad. We eat it with a garden salad. Either way, it works great as a snack on its own or accompanied with a salad at meal time.

I did this with canned tuna (as that is what I had in my pantry) but you could also try it with salmon. If I were doing salmon however, I’d add a little bit of dill.

They are super easy to make and another bonus – NO added salt or tartar sauce required!

1 can of tuna (in water of course)

2 medium potatoes

2 scallions chopped

1 small red onion chopped

1 tbsp of ketchup

1.5 tbsp of mayonnaise (olive oil based)

2 tbsp of whole-grain mustard

Fresh ground pepper

1 tbsp butter

¼ cup all-purpose flour

1 egg

¼ cup dried breadcrumbs

1 – 2 tbsp of olive oil or avocado oil

 

Peel potatoes and cut into 8’s. Boil them in a saucepan.

Once boiled, mash the potatoes with butter.

Then add scallions, onion, ketchup, mayonnaise and pepper.

Flake the tuna in a separate bowl. Once tuna is flaked add the tuna to the mixture above.

Form into round and flat cakes/patties.

In 3 separate bowls pour flour in one, 1 egg beaten well in one and breadcrumbs in one

Dip both sides of fish cakes into all 3 bowls in order above (flour first, egg second, breadcrumbs third)

Heat frying pan with 1 – 2 tbsp of olive oil or avocado oil.

When hot, place fish cakes gently in pan, cooking each side once (3 – 5 minutes max on each side). If you want it really well done, you can flip them a couple more times.

Should make 6 fish cakes.

Try them and let me know what you think!

 

Healthy Alternative to Mattar Paneer (Peas and Cheese)

 

  

This is NOT the creamy version, but is still very tasty and goes very well with naan or roti.

¼ tsp mustard seeds

¼ tsp cumin seeds

1 red onion diced

½ each of red pepper, orange pepper, yellow pepper diced

¼ cup green peas

1 block of paneer cut into cubes

1 -  2 tsp olive oil

Salt to taste

1/8 tsp sugar

½ tsp dried crushed red chillies (optional)

Ensure frying pan is large enough to contain all ingredients.

Turn stove on and ensure pan is very hot. Pour oilive oil into pan.

When oil is hot enough, throw in mustard seeds and cumin seeds. You should hear it pop.

Then put in onions and saute.

Sprinkle sugar over the onions.

Toss in all peppers and paneer. Stir.

Add salt to taste

Add dried crushed red chillies

Kid Friendly, Heart Healthy - Banana Nut Bread or Blueberry Banana Bread

 

Kid Friendly, Heart Healthy – Banana Nut Bread or Blueberry Banana Bread

 

 

 

 

My next few entries will be healthier foods moms and dads can make with their children and for their children. I’m no chef so if I can do it, anybody can.

Recipes that are easy and fast and taste yummy for kids and adults.

Ellil and I baked this together. It’s easy to make and “Delicious!” as quoted by Ellil.

1 ¼  cup all purpose flour*

¼ cup whole wheat flour*

3 ripened bananas

¼ cup walnuts or ½ cup blueberries

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon powder

1 tsp baking soda

2 eggs

¾ cup flaxseed oil

¼ tsp vanilla extract

¼ tsp salt

Makes 16 slices. Entire load consumed in a 48 hour period!

Mash bananas in a bowl. Add vanilla extract, oil and eggs. Mix all dry ingredients in another bowl (both flours, brown sugar, cinnamon powder, baking soda, salt)

Pour all ingredients into one bowl and mix

Add nuts/blueberries.

Stir

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray oil inside a loaf pan.

Pour batter into the pan

Bake for 45-50 minutes or until toothpick inserted in centre of bread comes out clean

*Each subsequent time you make this, increase ratio of whole wheat flour to all purpose flour and see if your kids notice the difference. Ellil noticed when I did ¾ all purpose and ¾ whole wheat flour. She didn’t like it as much. So my ratio is 1 cup all purpose flour to ½ cup whole wheat flour.