Day 4 – MC
Down, but not out.
Today was a little trying. It should’ve been predictable but it was anything but. Ro decided he wanted me to carry him all afternoon. So I did. Even if I put him down for a second, he made it a point to vocalize his displeasure until I carried him back up again. All in all, he was in my arms from noon till 5. The first couple of hours was fun because we played and we danced and had some tummy time and exercises. But then he got tired and irritated and just did not want to be left alone anywhere. Not in the playpen or swing or seat or mat. My mother came (God bless mums) to relieve me so I could go make dinner. As soon as dinner was ready and Ellil was fed, I had to take him back from my mom again so she could go home and by the time I finally put Ro to sleep it was almost 8:30 p.m.
You know, every night as a habit I try to recap my day and think about how productive I was and what I learned from it. I’ve been doing this for over a decade now and for the most part it really helps me feel better about the day that I just lived or at least give me focus for the next day. But today was one of those days where I haven’t a clue what I was supposed to learn. Does making dinner and feeding and bathing my kids count as being productive enough? 3 more minutes till March 13, 2013 is gone, never to be seen again. Outside of the spit-up and drool on my shirt sleeves, residual baby lotion on my hands and baby toothpaste stain splattered across the chest of my shirt, how am I different now than I was 24 hours ago?
The glass half full people will say “Don’t be silly Priya. You had a full day to love your kids and bond with them.” To which I’d reply, “Yah yah, but I do that every day and then I do some more. I didn’t get the opportunity for the latter part today…you know the part where I do something for me.” Ding ding DING!! Did you hear that alarm bell go off because I just did and boy that was a rude awakening! I suppose some days it really isn’t about me. Sometimes, it’s purely about taking care of the kids’ needs and that is all. Is it really that simple? Wow. Food for thought.
Motherhood is humbling.
I highly recommend it.